Quickies I.

Just quick takes on several different films.....

FASHION

Directed by: Madhur Bhandarkar
Starring: Priyanka Chopra, Kangana Ranaut, Arbaaz Khan
Released: 2008

This did not look like a Bollywood movie at all..... and it works great, though I must admit it´s not a film I would like to watch again, definitely not the whole thing at one time. Priyanka was brilliant, especially in the second part, looked absolutely fabulous, but I must admit I was even more smitten by Kangana´s performance as Shonali. This was the film that made me love her - and then the love was taken away by Tanu weds Manu and Game.... but here the magic still prevails. As far as her performance goes it was THE EXPERIENCE for me. The movie was really a girl´s show from the beggining to end, though Arbaaz deserves a mention. Sometimes it happens to me, that the three hours, which a is a regular time for Bollywood movies, are just tooooooo damn long. I did not have this feeling during this movie.

It was nice to see Konkona and Ranvir, whom both I love, but let´s face it: that scene was simply good for nothing, because it was not related to the story in any way, hence it didn´t really work even as a special appearance. Music was nice, but nothing much to talk about. No songs. In this particular case thank God for that.

Brilliant movie. Now I need to go and watch Hum Aapke Hain Koun to get me out of depression. Joote Do Paise Lo.....!!!!!!
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WAKE UP SID

Directed by Ayan Mukerji
Starring: Ranbir Kapoor, Konkona Sen Sharma, Anupam Kher
Released: 2009

I had no idea what the plot is, all I knew it has Koko and Ranbir. And they were both just great in this nice, slow and charming movie!!! I thoroughly enjoyed the beggining, because Sid had the same illness as me - procrastination!!!! Pity his friends kinda disappeared after first 30 minutes, but in the end they were really not too important for the story. I really liked the plot - no dramatic over the top situations, just simple tale of a man finally growing up...... and for once the growth of love was understandable, enjoyable and BELIEVABLE!!!

As I already said, Ranbir was great. I love the guy! And Koko is brilliant. I would so love to see her in more movies. She does not have a nice profile, but otherwise she is IMO much more gorgeous then Katrina or Sonam. And her talent is unquestionable.

Very enjoyable movie, that slows down a bit in the second half. The word I would describe it would be "refreshing".
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TAAL

Directed by: Subhash Ghai
Starring: Aishwariya Rai, Akshaye Khanna, Anil Kapoor
Released: 1999

Movie that is anything but exciting. Full of half-baked characters, out of whom only Anil had something that would interest you. But there are definitely some plus poits. One was Aishwarya - I don´t know whatever has happened to her nowdays, but she used to be so adorable! I mean - she was so very natural in this film, it was sheer pleasure to watch her. I´m also a fan of her simple look without much make-up and jewellery, so this worked as well. She danced BEAUTIFULLY. Another plus point was Anil - his acting was a highlight. And then there is BEAUTIFUL title song that is absolutely magical. I loved the picturization as well. In fact the whole soundtrack of Taal can be definitely labeled as one of the best Rahman´s albums. Pity not all the voices used suited Aishwariya...

I was SHOCKED to see Amrish Puri was not a bad guy!!! That is something that just isn´t right...

And I will never understand why Bollywood heroines so often love the most impossible jerks. Akshaye´s character was purely annoying to me (and mind you, I adore Akshaye!). He was just too sure of himself!!! And then he gave away the finale halfway through the film!!! "You will send her to me, she will come out of her own decision...." blah blah blah..... And then to ensure his success in the end he decides to use a CUTE DOG as a weapon!!!! Now that is EMOTIONAL BLACKMAILING!!!!

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MOHRA

Directed by: Rajiv Rai
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Raveena Tandon, Naseeruddin Shah, Suniel Shetty
Released: 1994

The greatest strengh of this movie is the plot no doubt. And it is also (together with the somehow psychotic Naseeruddin Shah) the only saving grace. The first hour was somehow boring and full of WTF (the jail was WTF for sure. No police anywhere in sight, prisoners roaming wherever they wanted to....). I never thought much about Akshay as an actor (thought he looked YUMMY here, never liked him anywhere else), and Raveena too was average. The second part of the film is definitely thrilling and has some good moments, but somehow I have overgrown the totally totally evil evil guys and totally totally good good police officers. Once again the twists in the story were great and unexpected. What I hated was the stolen melody - this time from Jesus Christ Superstar.
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BAABUL

Directed by: Ravi Chopra
Starring: Rani Mukherjee, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, John Abraham, Hema Malini
Released: 2006

The first 90 minutes were like watching Hum Aapke Hain Koun 2 (except Salman did not look cute, more like silly this time) - all was there from warm family relationships, celebratory songs, wedding, pregnancy......... but the magic of HAHK was not present at all. The second part was nothing but boring and the ending was a bit too quick a bit naive - and also ended up on HAHK note. I really liked Rani though, she was awesome and very believable and also Amitabh gave a good performance. The scenes between him and Rani are the highlits and it is interesting to note that Rani had more chemistry with him then with Salman or John. Those two are easily overshadowed by Rani and Big B. Om Puri and Hema Malini whose characters were IMO quite essential to the story, were unnecceserilly and unforgivably sidelined.

Only worth watching for Rani and her interaction with Amitabh.

Ready

Directed by: Anees Bazmi

Starring: Salman Khan, Asin, Paresh Rawal, Mahesh Manjrekar

Released: 2011

I don´t think I even want to describe the basic story here. I was so terribly bored by it, did not one bit cared for it. Or anything in the film for that matter. But for the sake of my usual format of reviews, here comes:

Prem is a laadla and also a pain of his family consisting of parents, aunties and uncles. They believe the way for him to mend his mischievous ways is to get married, and once they find a suitable girl they invite her over. However because of some lying, running away and misunderstandings the real bride is left on the airport and leaves for her friend´s place while and impostor takes her place. Sanjana, posing as the chosen girl, quickly wins over the whole family – except Prem himself. Eventally the love grows between them while they are hanging above a chasm (literally). But Sanjana is a niece of two powerful goons Amar Chaudry and Sooraj Chaudry, who both want to marry her off to their brothera-in-law, because she inherited a big fortune from her mother. Amar and Sooraj are sworn enemies, both on the look out for Sanjana...

K. Asif is turning in his grave

Salman is riding on the success of Dabangg. That´s it. While in Dabangg he gave a solid performance, in Ready he doesn´t bother in the least to make some effort, and either sleep walks through the scenes completely uninterested, or is simply himself. The character of Prem doesn´t have anything from the edginess of Chulbul or sweetness of the Prem from HAHK, though it seemed to me Ready is supposed to be a blend of both with some massala-ish comedy thrown in. And though he looks great for his age, Salman just doesn´t look suitable for the roles of loverboys on this level.

Whatever humour there might be it is taken care of my Salman´s „family“, he himself did not make me even smile. See – if he was so apparently bored by the film, how should it entertain me? But I suffered through it nontheless, hoping there just might be something worth seeing. Not even the cameos by Sanjay Dutt, Kangana Ranaut, Ajay Devgn, Arbaaz Khan and Zarine Khan are exactly worth it, as they all appear in first ten minutes.

The girl who failed to impress

This was my first film with Asin, and I was quite curious about her, must say she didn´t make much of an impression. Her role was unforgivably limited to being artificially bitchy in the first part and completely disappearing in the second. But I guess you don´t refuse a film with Salman Khan. Even if he´s scaring spoilt kids running around a fun fair in a skeleton costume, NOT being funny.

Wasn´t impressed with music, no, not even Dhinka Chika and Character Dheela that kept shouting at me from all sides ever since the promotion of the film started.

Perhaps not worst, but definitely one of the weakest films of 2011 and without a single shade of doubt the most overrated hit of the year. Anees Bazmi is now officially my least favourite director. In the end he doesn´t fail to deliver at least one sexistic message. Prem´s "That´s the first time a woman said something wise" line woke up my feministic side with a roar.

This is how I felt for the most part of the film.

Vivah

Directed by: Sooraj Barjatya

Starring: Shahid Kapoor, Amrita Rao, Anupam Kher, Alokh Nath

Released: 2006

Twelve years after Hum Aapke Hain Koun Sooraj Barjatya decided to strike with another wedding video starring gorgeous heroine, handsome hero, loving families, perfect relationships (except for some minor flaws) lots of sweet songs and chocolates. However while Hum Aapke Hain Koun pulls off the rather non-existent plot brilliantly, Vivah, though there is nothing particularly wrong with it, did not manage to do so, neither it succeeded in recreating the magic.

Alokh Nath and Anupam Kher switched places and so this time Anupam is from the boy´s side, while the other one is raising the girl. She is not his daughter, but an orphaned niece Poonam. Unlike him, his wife doesn´t feel any love for Poonam, simply for the reason she has her own daughter who is dusky unlike perfectly beautiful niece.

Anupam is a father to Prem (Sooraj Barjatya has a thing for this name like Yash Chopra and Karan Johar do for Rahul), on a lookout for a bride. And who would have thought, Alokh Nath is in search for a groom for Poonam. And when these two meet, wedding is in the air.

1994

Twelve years later.

The bride and groom take immediate deep liking to each other. The two families love each other too. And apart from a joined family holiday don´t expect anything from the most of the film. Sadly the songs and romance simply don´t match up to legendary HAHK, and so for most of the film I kept looking at the time line which was moving with a snail speed. I was glad that the two main leads are played by Amrita Rao and Shahid Kapoor, because they both are such beautiful people, you can at least concentrate on them, wishing they had babies in real life, because beauty should be preserved for the next generations, while nothing is going on on the screen. They indeed make a beautiful couple.

And then tragedy strikes. And yet again I just cannot help but to do a little comparism to HAHK – while there the tragedy caused a problem, even thought mainly because of some communication holes more then anything else, in Vivah the tragedy doesn´t change anything at all. And we are heading for a happy ending.

This film is about...

...long meaningful stares...

...and fleeting meaningful gestures.

If you have a diabetes, this is not a film for you. Just five minutes would kill you, that´s how sweet everything and everyone is. They are all good in their roles. But none of the characters on their own are remarkable, and I highly doubt any of the actors would rank their performance in Vivah as their best.

Had it come out before Hum Aapke Hain Koun, I´m sure it would have been revolutionary (the way HAHK was), but since it´s coming a long time after, I couldn´t shake off the feeling that Sooraj Barjatya was simply trying his luck with the same story again. But Shahid Kapoor doesn´t have Salman´s charm. Amrita Rao doesn´t have Madhuri´s energy. And Prem´s nephew is nowhere near Tuffy (anyone else thinks the boy was a replacement of a „cute animal“ which usually is present in these kind of films?)

Vivah is a nice watch for a VERY lazy afternoon, and might be also ideal for putting you to sleep. Because in spite of being nice, it is unforgivably boring as well. In a way it really is what the full title promises: a detailed, idealistic documentary about a highly appropriate “way from engagement to marriage”.

I was just told we don´t  have any more laddoos.

No more laddoos?

We ate them all.

You must be strong Poonam. We have completely run ouf ot laddoos.

Hum Hain Rahi Pyar Ke

Directed by: Mahesh Bhatt

Starring: Aamir Khan, Juhi Chawla, Dalip Tahil, Sharokh Irani, Kunal Khemu, Baby Ashrafa

Released: 1993

Hum Hain Rahi Pyar Ke made me genuinely happy. For many reasons. The main being the fact that Juhi Chawla actually had a role. In most of her mainstream films I´ve seen so far she was largely used as a decoration, excuse for a song or damsel in distress, be it in Darr, Duplicate or Bol Radha Bol. However here she got her due and she truly used every second to her advantage.

Young Rahul (AAMIR Khan. AAMIR. Not SHAHRUKH. Understand?) has just inherited a textile factory saddled with debt plus three kids from his tragically deceased sister. He tries his best to get on well with the children, but managing them and the factory proves to be rather difficult, especially since his workers are all women making eyes on him and dancing instead of working. Ad to it a hungry for shaadi rich daughter of a man you´re making a commission for and what do you have? A big load of trouble. Nobody seems to understand the man´s plight and the kids are getting more and more insufferable by day, drawing away all nannies with their pranks.

Run over by life........... and children.

After Rahul breaks his promise of taking the children to the fair and locking them in the house the three siblings – Vicky, Munni and Sunny – run away through a window and completely rupee-less make their way to the fair. While trying to steal some sweets, they bump into Vaijanti, a young girl, at the moment engaged in the same illegal action. Together they all manage to escape the policeman and upon hearing that Vaijanti has nowhere to go, the children practically smuggle her home, where she spends two days hiding before their strict uncle. But nothing lasts forever and after a rather eventful night Rahul finally finds out there are not three, but four people he needs to look after now. Especially since Vaijanti makes up a story about being a poor orphan, while in fact she has run away from home and a rather sleazy groom...

No better place to hide from the police then a center of a stage.

Hum Hain Rahi Pyar Ke breathes innocence from the beginning to the end (despite that horny girl chasing Aamir). Its magic doesn´t make differences between generations and I can easily imagine seniors, children or adult people watching it and having a good time. It has everything – fluff, fun, romance, action – but everything is still very much innocent and even the slight thrill before the ending is delightfully funny. Great surprise were the three children. It is one of the very rare films where I did not feel the need to strangle them for being artificial and annoying – because they were not. They all did a good job without being too giggly or too weepy.

Even Juhi was shocked at the non-annoyance of the kids.

Aamir Khan is also very good. Watching this film after Lagaan and 3 Idiots I was reminded of how much I loved this old Aamir, who used his instinct more then his head (as I like to lament in every review which concerns him). Hum Hain Rahi Pyar Ke has him in a rather difficult role of an uncle, who does his best to satisfy the children, but fails with his methods, which sometimes are not exactly right, and sometimes he has to face a selfish misunderstanding by the trio. Aamir made his character look real, and even in the moments, in which he is unlikeable to the children, he manages to convince you that he wants their best and is just utterly helpless from time to time.

Can we have them in a film again please?

However, as I have mentioned earlier, the film ultimately belongs to Juhi. Because she is the soul of all things. She is the active (!) reason of things happening. She is the fun. She is that innocence I loved. I´m sure other actresses would have done a good job too, but I seriously doubt any would bring it to Juhi´s level. Such was her natural charm and comic sense in this one, and she truly deserved that Filmfare she later received. Looking sweet and simply throug-out the film she makes you smile with her mere presence. This is definitely my favourite film and performance of hers, no matter how much more „meaningful“ stuff she was appreciated later in her career. Ad to it she´s acting opposite Aamir (my favourite of her pairings), and you are left with a feeling of bliss.

Not blissed out just yet.

Part of the movie´s appeal lies also in music. Every single track is beautiful and there is pretty much everything from fun songs to romantic and family ones. The following is my favourite, which really stuck in my head and I find myself humming it from time to time.

March 2011 releases

I rather urgently need to delete several files from my computer and the victims of this decision are to be three film which released this March. And just as my good habit goes, before deleting a film I am to write at least a short review. One of the „major“ releases is not included and that is Dum Maro Dum, simply because I have not yet found a decent picture quality copy with subtitles, so I guess a review of that film will have to wait.... Meanwhile here come the three films I´ve seen....

F.A.L.T.U.

Directed by: Remo D´Souza

Starring: Jackky Bhagnani, Pooja Gupta, Boman Irani, Riteish Deshmunk

To be honest I only watched this film because it was directed by Remo, whom I´ve got accostumed to see side by side with Madhuri Dixit on Jhalak Dikhla Ja 4 the last winter. Yeah, a pathetic reason, but a fangirl in me knows no limits! The only reason why I sat through the whole thing was Riteish Deshmunk. I genuinly like the guy, I find him very funny and there is something cute and endearing about him. He is also a good actor and in this is without a second thought the best together with Boman Irani – despite the fact their roles are rather limited. Most of the time you are forced to watch a bunch of teenagers, who are obviously too lazy to study, having a good time and later do some preaching about how teachers should teach..... I am all for changes in our educational systém, but I hate it when people label it all wrong. It has worked for centuries for God´s sake. Maybe I´m just interpreting the „message“ of the film wrong, because it was hard to pay any real attention to what was heppening on screen..... Some jokes might have been funny, if one didn´t realize that there is limit to silliness. And who the heck was that Google guy?

I Am

Directed by: Onir

Starring: Juhi Chawla, Manisha Koirala, Rahul Bose, Nandita Das

Yes, I know I have shocked you with such a low rating of such a highly critically acclaimed film. But it was the high expectations coming from those critical accolades and praises which made my psyched about I Am long before it released, and then I found out it is actually nothing that special... Onir made a quality film, interestingly put together, with very good performances from everybody. It is always pleasure to see Juhi Chawla, even more so in these kind of mature roles, and it was just as great to see Manisha Koirala again. Rahul Bose, who failed to impress me in Chameli, delivers yet again a rather subdued performance, which yet again leaves me with an impression of him being constantly confused on screen. My problem with the film was that I did not really find it „eye-opening“, the word which critics largely used. Everybody with brains (hence everyone who would watch such a film) knows there are single women who go to spermbanks, that there are people who would never accept gays, that there are molested children. The film says that these things exist. And that´s all. All four stories are hardly related to each other, in fact they seemed rather forcibly put together, and their length (or rather shortness) did not give me a chance to feel into the characters, or even like them. It was all too shallow, simple „touch and run away“.

Game

Directed by: Abhinay Deo

Starring: Abhishek Bachchan, Kangana Ranaut, Anupam Kher

This one was a surprise. I am one of those who think Abhishek Bachchan simply lucked out because of his surname, and I maintain this belief. But there are films where he proves he is a capable actor too and Game is one of those. In fact, I really, really liked the first 45 minutes. The way the story was presented was nothing less but exciting for me. But once the EXCELLENT Anupam Kher disappeared from the film, it went down the hill. Maybe also because really good Boman Irani was too very soon eliminated from the story. From a very promising plot, which was well built up at first, the movie in mere minutes transformed into mediocre thriller with terribly placed background music and a speed of a snail. Abhishek is quite good, although I don´t understand why he has to play a "genius" so often, because seriously, he doesnt convince you of being one. Kangana, I feel, is a one time wonder. I recall how astounded I was by her in Fashion, but since then my rating of her as an actress sloops lower and lower everytime I see her. In this she is the weekest and yet again doesn´t really make me want to go and watch her some more. Lots of stories are left unfinished in this. Pity? Good? Not quite sure.

Sirf Tum

Directed by: Agathiyan

Starring: Sanjay Kapoor, Priya Gill, Mohnish Bell, Salman Khan, Jackie Shroff, Sushmita Sen

Released: 1999

There is a guy called Deepak. He is nice, well-mannered, well-dressed, honest, pleasant, honourable, in other words he has not one single flaw. From time to time he meets a new person – for example on a train – and he notes down the person´s name and date of birth. Why? Because he is so, so good and nice that he likes to post birthday cards to these people he´ll probably never meet again. Once he finds a lady´s purse and as a true gentleman sends it by the post to the owner, who obviously had been robbed. Apart from her address he also gets to know her birth date. Which means one more card to be send every year. He doesn´t mind though. The young woman, or rather girl, Aarti who was overjoyed to see her lost purse once again, starts regularly corresponding with him and both fall in love with each other through letters. However they decide (for whatever reason I don´t get) that they will not exchange pictures, because „our love will reach from the heart to eyes“ or some nonsense like that. I would like to note that I am a great romantic and don´t believe that appearance is the most important thing in a relationship, but some beliefs are.... way too naive.

To make sure she recognizes him, when they would finally agree to meet, she makes him a rather ugly sweater (I suspect she is a Rishi Kapoor fan). He is supposed to wear it when the big day comes.

Must say that I for one would not give my address to this guy.

But then Deepak decides to leave his job in... where ever he was... because some workers refused to work and thought they´d beat him instead, and move to Delhi. Here he meets new friends (aka Jackie Shroff being wasted and Mohnish Bell being sleazy) and his beautiful employee (aka Sushmita Sen being annoyingly childish). But when she reveals she has feeling for him some time later he decides to leave his profitable job, because his heart belongs to Aarti. Meanwhile she refuses to marry a handsome, good and rich boy (aka Salman Khan being Prem – literally) and to escape from future suggestions she finds this the best time to meet Deepak. BUT here comes the catch – he didn´t send her his new address (WTF) and neither of them has ever seen each other (I knew this was going to cause some minor problems). So even while she is sobbing at the backseat of a rickshaw, she wouldn´t recognize him even if he was driving it (hint, hint)....

Salman Khan being wasted.

Jackie Shroff being wasted.

Sushmita Sen being pretty much wasted too.

Sirf Tum is a feel good film. If you do not demand a visually pleasing hero, that is. If you do, don´t even try to watch this one. Sanjay Kapoor was not blessed with either looks or charisma. His acting skills too leave much to be desired. However he is one of those actors, that are actually so non-interesting you cannot hate them. The non-existent screen presence gives you a chance to imagine whomever you want to in Sanjay´s place, which at times is almost necessary. The film, however, is taking place in some weird alternative reality, where Sanjay Kapoor is the handsomest and most desirable man alive and women cannot stop themselves from throwing themselves at him at any occassion. From horny co-workers to illiterate Malayam girls and of course beautiful employees. The only one who doesn´t give a damn about him when meeting him is ironically Aarti.

Sorry Sanjay. Only Rishi can pull off a sweater like this.

I´ve never seen Priya Gill before and she was good here, though it is not the same level of „good“ you associate with actresses like Juhi Chawla or Kareena Kapoor. Her character annoyed the heck out of me though. There was nothing likeable about her, no warmth and her tears did not move me. In fact the way she scolded the very much helpful Deepak (of course not knowing who he was till he revealed that hideous sweater) was nothing else but bitchy. On the other hand, much more famous Sushmita Sen did not really take an opportunity to shine either, and ended up looking immature and pathetic.

Best performances are actually given by two cameo artists! Jackie Shroff, having about 5 minutes of screen time, completely overpowered Sanjay. Salman Khan appearing in his favourite avatar of „Prem“ is very good and one wished to see more.

The film moves slowly, has hummable but forgettable songs and gets way too boring at times. A decent watch for the undemanding. In fact, I even wonder how I managed to write a review this long. Most interesting thing about it is that after I have written it I noticed my program automatically changed the title to Sirf Rum.

Why? Why couldn´t he look like Salman?

When two do the same, it is not the same...

When two do the same, it is not the same. As least that is what an old Czech proverb claims and I am sure you will all agree. Stretching my mind to limits in search of some idea of what else to contribute to the Kapoor Khazana besides reviews (at least one more is coming too), I finally landed at one of Kareena´s most famous songs. Or rather - one of the most famous songs that has ever been picturized on this currently most popular Kapoor. It is of course "Yeh Mera Dil" from the successful re-make of Don, where she made a guest appearance, enacting the character originally played by legendary Helen. And though her appearance in the film was brief, it definitely got enough attention thanks to the song. Like probably 99% of people I could not help but compare Kareena´s modern version with the original picturization, and that´s when the proverb used above really proved its meaning.

The melody is the same, the lyrics have not changed, neither has the concept of the scene. the motives driving the girl remain the same as in the original - she is buying time by shaking her booty, hoping that every second police might arrive to capture the evil Don. So what are the differences?

Well, the new version of Yeh Mera Dil is definitely more polished in every aspect. The set is not only more interesting, but actually does justice to Don´s character, not to mention the lighting and everything is very intimate. Kareena is no doubt 100 times more sexy then Helen, and though I don´t think much about either of the ladies look-wise, she does look better too. In fact, the new version of the song somehow makes more sense - because Don actually DOES want to get naughty with the girl (I never understood why Amitabh went with Helen in the first place, as he had no interest in her whatsoever). The main difference however, leaves the new Don down. And that is - Helen could dance. Kareena is a great actress with exceptional screen presence, but dancer - no, never.  I must admit that some of her movements in the song made me smile and even laugh. The choreographer cannot be blamed, since Helen in the original version too had some weird steps, yet she managed to be graceful throughout. But it is fun to watch both versions. Because when two do the same, it does not neccesarily mean one of them is better, but they are bound to be different...

I am quite aware that this post holds no value whatsoever. Treat it as an idea born out of a lazy moment, not chiseled to perfection or with some impactful point. Yes, I do admit it: the whole writing is just an excuse to post the two vids!